Little Eyes

Friday night I was slumped on the couch after an exhausting work week.

I was just about to try to motivate myself to find some sort of housework to tackle when my sweet friend L.A.V.H, sent me this out of the blue:

Link to source

And to think,

when their little eyes opened, 

the first thing they saw was the 

face of Jesus.

The face of Jesus statement affected me so profoundly that I immediately began to cry, not sad tears but, tears of amazement that they missed the pain & trauma of this world & were born directly to eternal life into the arms of Jesus! His face is the first & only sight that those sweet little eyes peeked out at. He is their Father. 

WOW! 

I haven't ever thought of my babies in that sense before-I was mindblown, a friend metioned a long time ago that I had angel babies in heaven but, this was a whole new thought. A thought that is so simple & true that I cannot fathom why it had never occured to me before.

I still want to have those babies here with me right now but, what an amazing alternative.

 I completely believe that I will meet my children someday, that we will be able to communicate with one another, and that they will occupy bodies (or whatever) of the person they were intended to be. We will have a joyous reunion, until then I have an amzing quote to help me through the tough days when I feel incomplete without my sweet little babes.

IQ

First of all, I believe my intelligence is most evident in an artistic sense & that artistic smarts are hard to test with numbers & symbol matching. Secondly, IQ test apps are killer for my ego. I took a test last week on the Ipad (since lately I seem to be into tests but , I do question if they are legit) & I should have used a scratch piece of paper to help me solve but, I thought I'd be a badass & just eyeball it. I ended up with a score just slightly above average. I'm the gal that rarely plays board games because I can't stand to lose & I feel like I failed the stupid test. Then I made the mistake of telling my husband the score, he still loves me just the same but did reveal his genius level IQ score after my confession, jerk. The man could be in Mensa or work for NASA or hold his own up against Einstein. After his revelation, all I want is to be a smartypants damnit, I just want to keep up! I told him he better hope & pray that our unborn children get his intelligence, otherwise dad will be a miserable frustrated mess helping with homework. As much as I wish it would, being good with color & design doesn't help a young kid out in school-I speak from experience. I think I'm going to retake the stupid test until I come out with an even better score, would that count?

Personality

Recently I have become very interested in the psychology of personality types. Not only do I find it interesting but I also want a better understanding of who I really am. After taking a personality quiz based on the writings of C. Jung, I found that I am an ISFJ. As I read the description of an ISFJ I was floored by its accuracy, they should take out ISFJ & just write Aubrey in its place. It was almost like one of Oprah's Aha! moments. For the first time why I say, think, & feel all the things that I do-was so clear.

I feel that I'm here on this earth to take care of others, in some way, shape, or form. I take rules literally & thrive when I know my boundaries. I am trustworthy & often told "no one knows this but you". I remember emotions & expressions explicitly, & accurately judge ones intentions behind them. 

But with these "good" traits there must be a few "bad", I don't say "no" well, I give until I'm sucked dry-I don't know when to stop, I won't confront an issue-instead I will allow it to build, boil,  & instead of erupting I will simply quit the person. Theses are not traits that I enjoy having, if I have quit you it has been a defense mechanism, one that has taken month or years to of quiet pain to take effect. When associating with me you will probably immediately find me to be reliable, consistent, & a touch judgemental-good luck but know that I always expect even more from myself than I will from you. What Jung personality are you, take the test online. You might be surprised what you find out & I'll cross my fingers that you have your own Aha! moment.(they are the best!)

Late night toilet update

The toilet saga continues: It's 11:00 at night & I just had to pee in my backyard. I didn't hear any shrieks of terror from the neighbors, the moonlight must have been dim. The puppies were a bit confused at the sight though, I think "who wants to go potty?" just took on a whole new meaning for the dog-girls. The house reeks of Liquid Plumber & there is sewage in the showers so bathing for work tomorrow isn't an option but, a big shout out to the kitchen sink for draining properly for brushing our teeth & washing our faces. I will be stalking the plumber in the morning, cross your fingers for an easy fix...

A small victory

Today my patients baby cousin came over to visit. He had beautiful rolls of flesh for thighs, a soft fat belly, & 2 sweet dimples on his cheeks that snuck out with each giggle. 

For the first time in three years without a thought or self-psychoanalyzing I walked to a baby with a purpose & scooped him up. We bounced, cooed, laughed, had a bottle, & rocked to sleep. 

As he snuggled into me I felt completely accepted by such a sweet little stranger. I want to believe that in his soul he knew I needed a moment of healing, the purity of him in my arms was beautiful. It wasn't until I had to leave that I realized the hurdle I'd finally crossed, there was no anguish, pain, or  jealousy associated with a baby & I coexisting together in a room. It wasn't me against the baby, finally. 

Toilet

**Warning** this post will give you a mental image of pee & poo, it is intended to be humorous, read it in your best sarcastic Aubrey impression voice.**

Not only is my lady-plumbing(stupid ovaries) backed up, so is our house plumbing. We have had toilet drama since we bought this house. Out of the blue the shower won't drain. Use the sink & the toilet starts to bubble. The toilet fills to the brim when all you do is pee & use 4 squares of tp. The best stuff is when sewage comes up the bathtub. 

We've replaced the toilet with a fancy-expensive-new Kohler smart flush, had the city come inspect their portion of the line, had a plumber out twice, used Root Be Gone once, poured countless bottles of Liquid Plumber down the tub, plunged til' our biceps & abs are rock hard, & as a last ditch effort used a jug of sulfuric acid. That worked for one week .

This morning I tried to flush a Yorkie turd & a water roach that was still twitching & the toilet filled to the brim, all I could do was to sit down & cry.

 Then I prayed for the weirdest thing I've ever prayed for, for God to clear our toilet lines & saying outloud "Satan, I banish you from our plumbing". How many times have you heard that? I bet God just chuckled...

My man is out of town, I don't have the funds for a plumber, & this is not a job that I prefer to handle. I'm still waiting for results & trying desperately to persuade my bladder to be calm. I really would rather not pop a squat in the backyard & educate the young sheltered neighbor boys about female anatomy through the chain link fence. So, somebody hurry, quick call Mike Holmes or do us a favor & send out a prayer for our toilet. 

The perpatrator.

Letting the sleeping dogs lie...

Here's why the dogs do NOT sleep in bed with us.

THE MOMMA:

THE DADDY:

I think that explains it.