36 Weeks & Barely Hanging On

We got some frigid weather here in Fort Worth last night & ended up being without power for about 15 hours. The house temp got all the way down to 54 degrees today, I've never mentioned that I'm stuck at home on strict bedrest, have I? (eye roll) All day I was huddled under a stack of blankets with a good book & my doggies were covered little lumps nearby. Actually doesn't sound too bad, does it? It wasn't, my teeth only chattered when I had potty breaks.

This past weekend I had quite a few contractions that had me in pain & out of breath after a major bleeding episode a few days prior to that. We saw my doctor today for my 36 week appointment, my Sono shows that my cervix is nearly completely effaced at this time, my blood pressure is still stupid high, the protein levels in my urine are slowly creeping up, my blood work is showing subtle changes, & I could go into labor at any moment. My doctor is about to leave town 5 days, his only vacation of the year.

Gah!

We have a c-section scheduled for December 5 & I want so badly to make it to that date. I realize that you can't plan or control this stuff or anything for the rest of my life as a parent BUT: I really have high hopes to make it til' then because: I love the date #5, the grandmothers are planning their trips here & hotels, & Chris has a weekend of major construction planned to complete our floors & Sheetrock throughout the house. Obviously after this pregnancy, with all it's difficult twists & turns, I want the comfort of MY doctor taking this boy from my body, not the on-call stranger OB. Dr.Z has taken such good care of us throughout the ups & downs that it's important for him there for the grand finale with us. 

Yes, there's been a lot of stress & disappointment that has come with this experience, but none of that will ever outweigh the fact that in the next week & a half at the latest we will finally get to wrap OUR baby up in OUR arms & leave behind so much of the pain of infertlity & high-risk pregnancy. How freakin' lucky, blessed, & thrilled are we!?! 

While I've struggled to absorb this experience & not just feel as if I'm in a dream, I'm so excited & eager to meet this boy, find out everything there is about him, & see the man he becomes. 

Chris & I have greatly appreciated the love & support shown to us as we have struggled, the generosity shown to us has been humbling.

I ask for one more thing though, prayers of blessing over Brit on the day of his birth & a prayer of thanksgiving for his precious life.

Maternity Ward Frequent Flyer

I was admitted into the the hospital again. sigh.

Earlier this week my blood pressure was running around 160/120 when all I was doing was sitting on my booty on the floor. I moved to the bed, laid on my left side, & managed to work it back down to borderline acceptable with only a mild headache. The following morning I had my regular weekly appointment with my OB & boy did I get fussed at for not hauling myself to the hospital the day before. 

Dr.Z checked me & said my cervix was beginning to open. I also had lab work, a biophysical profile, & a fetal non stress test-all a normal part of my visit with my condition. My blood pressure in the office was still running too high so I was sent over to the hospital for observation & of course it calmed down to a beautiful 117/77 (making me look like a hypertension faker), where it hasn't been for nearly a month. We were discharged, walked to the car, I sat down in my seat & immediately felt a gush of blood.

We turned around & went back to maternal observation, thankfully we had been gone for such a short amount of time that my chart hadn't even been closed out & we were able to pick up where we had left off. My BP was back up & now I had a date with the Perinatologist.

The perinatologist was awesome & so thorough. She discovered that my cervix was dilated one cm at the top & is full of blood. She also revealed that my placenta had previously only traveled up enough to sit on the cusp of the cervix & as the cervix begins to dilate the placenta is slipping into the opening, causing bleeding & Brit's head is resting directly on top of the cervix. 

The result of all this is a scheduled c-section to take place in the next 2-3 weeks, a far cry from my long time plan of a a natural vaginal delivery using Hypnobabies. I feel like I'm in some sort of a state of grief for not getting the delivery that I have wanted for so long.
Having a c-section means that we no longer have control over labor & delivery, we won't get to assist in pulling Brit from my body, bonding may be delayed, breastfeeding may be more difficult, I will now have drugs coursing through my body, & the recovery from major abdominal surgery will take much longer than a natural delivery. In short, I'm scared & sad to lose the birth experience that I want but know that the only important thing is that I'll be holding a baby in my arms, I'm sure we won't care how he arrives once he's here.
After being admitted my in laws came to town & kept me occupied. I stayed overnight for observation, IV fluids, labs, & a 24 hour urine collection. My BP remained borderline but acceptable & the protein in my urine was within normal limits so I was discharged to come home for continued bed rest. My mother in law has filled my belly with delicious food & I've been able to snuggle my puppies, we are grateful for the help so that Chris has not had to bear the role of caregiver alone after a difficult pregnancy.
I have a doctor appointment on Monday where we schedule the c-section, probably during the first week of December. After 4 long years of waiting, I cannot believe that meeting my son is just around the corner...