How We Made a Baby

***Not a TMI situation, I promise!***
As you know, after 3+ years of trying to conceive & have a successful pregnancy we were at our limit. Physically, my body couldn't handle the treatments & drugs any longer. Financially, we couldn't provide for more invasive treatments or fund an adoption. I was heartbroken because it meant I would live my life childless when I felt my purpose in life was to be a mother. 

So here we were in mid-March, I began taking my last ever dose of Clomid & tracking any signs of ovulation, once I had a positive result I made our final appointment with our fertility doctor. On April Fools, Chris went to the clinic an hour before I did, he did his portion of the appointment & returned to work. After I arrived alone I was put in an exam room & proceeded to have a meltdown once the doctor came in, Dr.K immediately brought me back down off the ledge. He reassured me that even though this was our last chance & attempt at a child via medical intervention, he KNEW that this was going to work & that I would walk out of that clinic pregnant. He did a quick ultrasound & saw plenty of eggs in my ovaries, then the performed my final IUI. As he walked out the door he gave me a hard core high five & encouraged me to relax as he was certain that I was pregnant. I laid on the exam table for 10 minutes to allow everything to settle & toward the ceiling I begged God that this would be the baby that made it into our arms. 

For the next two weeks I tried not to think of anything related to pregnancy, babies, or starting a period. I began having terrible back pain that wasn't normal for me but, I just knew I was going to start, still I decided to take a pregnancy test just in case. I'd barely finished the test & could already see two pink lines! I ran to Chris on the back porch & yelled at him to get off his phone. I stood out there in my panties, ugly crying, shaking, & freaking out as I told the man that I love that he would finally get to be a daddy. We both immediately had a sense that this time the baby was ours to keep. 

And that is how we conceived our sweet little babe with my husband miles away from me. All it took was 3 years of practice for Chris & myself, with Dr.Z, Dr.K, & Jesus' sweet mercy to create this baby, a miracle, oh what a miracle!

The view at the fertility clinic. Sexy!

Watch the belly grow! Weeks 5-12.

1. I had nowhere to put a baby belly so it protruded immediately.

2. I forgot to take pics & draw the chalk board a few times-whoops. 

3. Every single picture shows exactly how tired I was, focus on that cute belly!

Finding Out & The First Trimester

I was just about to the point of embracing that we may never be able to have children that now that I am pregnant, (WOW) I am amazed at this foreign to me concept. It's almost like no one has ever been pregnant in history until now, absorbing the thought & symptoms of a pregnancy is so completely diffrent than just knowing some facts as a woman &/or nurse. So, get ready to hear every.single.detail of this pregnancy for the next six months, & forgive me if I make you want to gag on a spoon (ha! story of my life!) from preggo overload, I'm just so stinking overjoyed!!!

Finding out we were going to have a baby went like this:
I had unusual back pain that was sent to me straight from hell, near the time I was due for a period. I was so uncomfortable that I knew there would be no baby, instead I was sure that my uterus would throw a ginormous hissy fit. After a few days I began to get impatient to just get it over with but, my heart still had a tiny glimmer of desperate hope. We had tried to have a baby for so long & I had taken so many negative pregnancy tests, that I felt that I had no right to think there might still be a chance for us. I finally decided just to take the damn test to make my brain shut-up, the back & forth of baby or period?? was so emotionally exhausting. I didn't have the guts to take the test until nine o' clock that night, I planned to pee on the stick & walk away, instead, I took the test & glanced at the result window as I set the it on the counter. It had been mere seconds & all I could see were two pink lines. My breath was knocked out of my chest. I panicked in amazement & disbelief. I ran across the house, test in hand, half clothed & crazy looking-screaming at my husband to get off his phone. If you know & love the man, you know he's a smartass, he glanced at me with his eyebrows cocked, looked me up & down in my deranged state, & said "why, are you pregnant"? I ugly cried as I confirmed the news, we congragulated each other, he went back to his phone & I began chanting: ohmygod,ohmygod, ohmygod. Sometimes I wish our reactions were a bit more storybook but we have been through alot already & we reacted with our true personalities, as each week has passed & we have felt more confident that this is the baby we get to hold, we become more & more animated in our excitement.

 To sum up the first trimester: how does any woman survive this 3 month hell?! There has been: BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS!, nausea, cramping, back pain, nosebleeds, bad taste in mouth, constant heartburn, headaches, extreme fatigue, crazy dreams, gagging, bloating, burping, farting, constipation, elevated emotions, no appetite, raging appetite, aversion to all sources of nourishment & hydration-including water, aching feet, & a baby bump sooner than you've ever seen on anyone else. One plus: I never actually threw up-hallelujah! My doctor has categorized me as high risk for now but believes that I'll have a boring pregnancy after the first trimester, but for now, I'm not allowed to stress out about anything, it's been so nice to have no drama for this mama! (I think I'll make it into a habit)

Despite this list of complaints, I'm radiating joy & excitement. This kid is so worth the crapload of misery that has & will be inflicted upon my body!

Conceiving successfully has not healed of the pain of my infertility, it is still hard in so may ways. I also ache for those that continue to wait for babies of their own, I'm still part of your club, I'm scoring a victory for our team, I wish you were too.

An Extrodinary Gift

We are thrilled to announce the greatest gift will arrive just in time for Christmas 2013.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you that have joined us in praying for this sweet little miracle.

I have prayed for this child and The Lord has granted me what I have asked of Him. 1 Samuel 1:27

I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says The Lord. Isaiah 66:9 (NCV)