I was just about to the point of embracing that we may never be able to have children that now that I am pregnant, (WOW) I am amazed at this foreign to me concept. It's almost like no one has ever been pregnant in history until now, absorbing the thought & symptoms of a pregnancy is so completely diffrent than just knowing some facts as a woman &/or nurse. So, get ready to hear every.single.detail of this pregnancy for the next six months, & forgive me if I make you want to gag on a spoon (ha! story of my life!) from preggo overload, I'm just so stinking overjoyed!!!
Finding out we were going to have a baby went like this:
I had unusual back pain that was sent to me straight from hell, near the time I was due for a period. I was so uncomfortable that I knew there would be no baby, instead I was sure that my uterus would throw a ginormous hissy fit. After a few days I began to get impatient to just get it over with but, my heart still had a tiny glimmer of desperate hope. We had tried to have a baby for so long & I had taken so many negative pregnancy tests, that I felt that I had no right to think there might still be a chance for us. I finally decided just to take the damn test to make my brain shut-up, the back & forth of baby or period?? was so emotionally exhausting. I didn't have the guts to take the test until nine o' clock that night, I planned to pee on the stick & walk away, instead, I took the test & glanced at the result window as I set the it on the counter. It had been mere seconds & all I could see were two pink lines. My breath was knocked out of my chest. I panicked in amazement & disbelief. I ran across the house, test in hand, half clothed & crazy looking-screaming at my husband to get off his phone. If you know & love the man, you know he's a smartass, he glanced at me with his eyebrows cocked, looked me up & down in my deranged state, & said "why, are you pregnant"? I ugly cried as I confirmed the news, we congragulated each other, he went back to his phone & I began chanting: ohmygod,ohmygod, ohmygod. Sometimes I wish our reactions were a bit more storybook but we have been through alot already & we reacted with our true personalities, as each week has passed & we have felt more confident that this is the baby we get to hold, we become more & more animated in our excitement.
Finding out we were going to have a baby went like this:
I had unusual back pain that was sent to me straight from hell, near the time I was due for a period. I was so uncomfortable that I knew there would be no baby, instead I was sure that my uterus would throw a ginormous hissy fit. After a few days I began to get impatient to just get it over with but, my heart still had a tiny glimmer of desperate hope. We had tried to have a baby for so long & I had taken so many negative pregnancy tests, that I felt that I had no right to think there might still be a chance for us. I finally decided just to take the damn test to make my brain shut-up, the back & forth of baby or period?? was so emotionally exhausting. I didn't have the guts to take the test until nine o' clock that night, I planned to pee on the stick & walk away, instead, I took the test & glanced at the result window as I set the it on the counter. It had been mere seconds & all I could see were two pink lines. My breath was knocked out of my chest. I panicked in amazement & disbelief. I ran across the house, test in hand, half clothed & crazy looking-screaming at my husband to get off his phone. If you know & love the man, you know he's a smartass, he glanced at me with his eyebrows cocked, looked me up & down in my deranged state, & said "why, are you pregnant"? I ugly cried as I confirmed the news, we congragulated each other, he went back to his phone & I began chanting: ohmygod,ohmygod, ohmygod. Sometimes I wish our reactions were a bit more storybook but we have been through alot already & we reacted with our true personalities, as each week has passed & we have felt more confident that this is the baby we get to hold, we become more & more animated in our excitement.
To sum up the first trimester: how does any woman survive this 3 month hell?! There has been: BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS!, nausea, cramping, back pain, nosebleeds, bad taste in mouth, constant heartburn, headaches, extreme fatigue, crazy dreams, gagging, bloating, burping, farting, constipation, elevated emotions, no appetite, raging appetite, aversion to all sources of nourishment & hydration-including water, aching feet, & a baby bump sooner than you've ever seen on anyone else. One plus: I never actually threw up-hallelujah! My doctor has categorized me as high risk for now but believes that I'll have a boring pregnancy after the first trimester, but for now, I'm not allowed to stress out about anything, it's been so nice to have no drama for this mama! (I think I'll make it into a habit)
Despite this list of complaints, I'm radiating joy & excitement. This kid is so worth the crapload of misery that has & will be inflicted upon my body!
Conceiving successfully has not healed of the pain of my infertility, it is still hard in so may ways. I also ache for those that continue to wait for babies of their own, I'm still part of your club, I'm scoring a victory for our team, I wish you were too.
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