I'm a Quitter.

I quit infertilty treatments. I haven't notified the doctor, I'm being rebellious.
We had one more last ditch effort IUI, and put so much hope into it. Maybe seeing "Aunt Flo" at the bowling alley was the last straw. (Are you kidding me?! Of all the places! Way to break it to me gently, uterus.) I couldn't even bear to tell my family that it was unsuccessful. My body has betrayed me and the drugs meant to help have tortured me for the last 10 months. I quit because I can't handle the heartbreak of being unsuccesful any longer. It has been 639 days since I miscarried, every single one of those days has been filled with thoughts my little one, the babies I want to know and how to get them here. 639 days of agony. It's like mourning a death-constantly, it never lets up.
We have some major changes up ahead, maybe I'll be ready to jump back into the game after them. In the meantime I will beg Him for a miracle or two.